Life Lessons

“‎Though nobody can go back and make a new beginning. Anyone can start over and make a new ending.” ― Chico Xavier

Gosh what a powerful and inspiring statement! If you are anything like me you often look back at what was, wishing things were different. Had I made different choices, aligned myself with different people, done things earlier (or not at all)? Ever been stuck in that toxic thought mouse wheel…

I know this is certainly true for me – love, self-image, confidence, fertility, career, entrepreneurship, money mindset, body image, the list goes on…..  Now don’t get me wrong I do believe there is value in reflecting on what was and learning from it. I am also very mindful that my reflections do not become an opportunity to beat myself up and spiral into what was and poor me… Do you ever experience this?

For me I am truly blessed with daily life lessons, some bigger and more challenging than others. Nonetheless, they have grown me and shifted the way I see and think about myself and others. I am not the same person I was even 12 months ago and am incredibly proud of that.  

Here’s a couple of my biggest life lessons:

After my mental/ emotional breakdown and subsequent breakthrough, I re-learnt so many behaviours, thoughts and actions. From there began to see myself in a different light, a more complimentary one. I began to stand up for myself, choosing to walk away from toxic people and experiences which have made a huge impact in my life and overall mindset. Now that was far from being an easy process and in the early days I didn’t recognise they were toxic until I started to look inwards. Realising I often wore rose coloured glasses and put others on a pedestal. Sadly the same couldn’t be applied to myself.

I discovered I was living my life on default thinking, wanting others to take the lead as I felt incapable of making decisions (especially big ones) by myself. I often gave away my power to others in the hope they knew best for me and would act accordingly. That if I behaved in a way I thought would please them then they would like/ love me and my life would be complete.

OMG! How much my past self needed validation, approval, love, trust, connection and security? If only she had known back then, that she had all of that already within her and there would be nothing more satisfying than giving all of this to herself.

Looking for answers from the outside world is never the answer we want it to be, in fact it can often be more harmful than helpful. And I certainly do not want that for you.

Tip: think about why do you do so, is it fear, confidence issues, hurtful to delve deep to your core and unearth some emotions that may be quite uncomfortable?

Another important life lesson came as a result of my fertility journey. Now I know many of you know what this has encompassed for me and I can honestly say nothing and I mean nothing has taught me more about myself, built resilience, self-confidence and a greater love and appreciation for my body and all that she does for me. Endless cycles, scans, tests, injections, loss have been overwhelming at times I won’t lie. And there were times I felt the tears would never stop, I would never feel happy again and life would be shit forever.

Time truly has been a healer, and I know during the past few years I have not always believed in that. In reality, time allows us to process, grieve, vent, heal and become reborn again. It taught me where my support network truly was (and surprisingly not with some people I thought/ expected it would be) and they gave me strength when I needed it most.

Life lessons can often be challenging which I guess it’s kind of the point sometimes and presents another perspective to us. At times that perspective may not be what we want or believe in. Now I am a stubborn woman who loves to be in control with what is happening to and around me. Is that you too?

My goodness what a lesson to learn than there is nothing we can control, yes we can be in charge of ourselves, our thoughts, feelings and actions but that is about it. The rest, particularly things outside of me are not within my control at all. Now don’t get me wrong that was one hell of a hard lesson to learn and let go of. My goodness, how freeing it also was in realising, coming to understand and surrendering to.

Tip: Reflect on what is within your control and what you might influence (and acknowledge you are not in control of)?

I would love to know if you found this blog post helpful and what resonated most with you. Keep in touch! I love hearing from you all.

I wish you peace, calm, insight and intention in your everyday.